Mistakes. Errors and failures.

Whatever word you use for it, think of the mistakes you’ve made. How do you feel about them now?

I have committed a lot of mistakes (and still do). Many times, I feel bad and berate myself. My self-esteem dips. All are normal reactions. But I do not end there.

Mistakes have negative connotations but they can also be used for improvement. The greatest success come from the lessons learned from errors committed.

Here is a breakdown on what to do with mistakes, using my own.

I once forgot to leave the keys to my car (which was blocking another one) to the parking attendant. When I came face to face with the owner who been waiting for an hour… It was not the best situation to be in.

Be Aware. As I entered the parking lot, the parking attendant were not smiling or greeting me. I was about to ask for my keys when I felt a familiar jingling in my right pocket. I forgot to leave my keys. That’s when I knew I made a mistake.

When you see the facts, don’t be in denial. Listen. Observe changes (or non-changes). Don’t feign innocence.  Be level headed. Everybody makes mistakes. You are not perfect.

Admit. Once you realize your mistake, take the blame. Take responsibility for your actions ((or inactions). In humility, say you goofed.

I faced the lady whom i have unintentionally inconvenienced and told her straight that it was my fault. I had no good reason.

Do not justify mistakes with reasons. It just diminishes your credibility but does little to make the situation better. No finger pointing. Do not make a second mistake of placing the blame on somebody else, the weather or the traffic. Do not lie and insist that you are not wrong.

Make amends. Do corrections when necessary or you are able to. Ask for forgiveness but do not overdo it. Listen to what they are saying and what they are not saying. Sometimes it’s better to leave them alone first and let them cool down. At times, that would be enough.

I asked for forgiveness and said I was very sorry. I took the cue that she didn’t want to hear anything else from me when she said “Can you move any faster?” She just wanted to get going. So move fast I did.

Many times, we can make amends after our misdeed immediately after. If you broke a vase, you can buy or pay for it. At other times, it is best to let go for the moment and make up for it later when.

Move on. When I came home, I was still playing the scene over and over that I was still shaking from embarrassment. “What If” was the mind game i played. But I’ve realized that it’s already in the past. I can’t change it. Even if I ran it over and over my head like a DVD movie, the deed has been done.

There is no use crying over spilled milk. Don’t wallow in pity, misery or fostering depression.

Sometimes we get so focused on a failure that we stay in a state of helplessness and shock. We feel guilty and unconsciously wallow in misery.

We must get up on our feet and begin anew. Let go of what was and look to the now and tomorrow.

Learn the Lesson. Guess who gives his key to the parking attendant even before it is asked? I’ve learned how to be more responsible after that embarrassing incident.

Focus on what can be done better. What could work? How could it have been prevented and how could it be

Do better next time. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. Perseverance is a good trait to have but if you insist on doing the same thing that made you fail, you might need to go to the shrink. Edison “failed” more than 1000 times so we can now enjoy the light bulb. But he tried several times using different combination of materials until he got it right.

In every setback, there is an equal or greater opportunity. Find that gem in every failure which will lead you to success.