Improve Your Self | MagandangBalita.com

You could tell if a person is inclined towards a positive or negative mental attitude if they are mostly raving or ranting during normal conversations.

If you’ve been through a conversation with a friend who just spent the whole time complaining about his wife, you are more likely to feel drained afterwards. On the other hand, if a friend bubbly talks about how good his project is going, you would immediately sense a strengthening of your own resolve.

I’m not saying we must not complain. There are times that we should but it should never be the norm for positive people. On the other hand, we should just praise and talk about how great things are going, to the point that we turn a blind eye to wrong things and miss the opportunity to make things right. But that is splitting hairs.

Ask yourself:

Are ranting or raving now?

Are you ranting or raving mostly?

There was a local FM radio program who aired phoned in comments from listeners. The question was just: Are you Ranting or Raving? Students, office workers, stay-at-homes just call in and just let it out.

Some rant about the exams they just took or will take. Another one will do the same for the document their boss wanted yesterday.

A girl will rave about seeing her crush that made her day. A young mother will jubilantly proclaim that her baby is growing his first tooth or took his first step.

I did not keep tally on which side had more, but the lesson I get there is that we have a lot of reasons to complain or thank about.
Rave more, okay? It will do you tons of good.

Filed under Bright Ideas, Improve Your Self, POSITIVE MINDSET

Mistakes. Errors and failures.

Whatever word you use for it, think of the mistakes you’ve made. How do you feel about them now?

I have committed a lot of mistakes (and still do). Many times, I feel bad and berate myself. My self-esteem dips. All are normal reactions. But I do not end there.

Mistakes have negative connotations but they can also be used for improvement. The greatest success come from the lessons learned from errors committed.

Here is a breakdown on what to do with mistakes, using my own.

I once forgot to leave the keys to my car (which was blocking another one) to the parking attendant. When I came face to face with the owner who been waiting for an hour… It was not the best situation to be in.

Be Aware. As I entered the parking lot, the parking attendant were not smiling or greeting me. I was about to ask for my keys when I felt a familiar jingling in my right pocket. I forgot to leave my keys. That’s when I knew I made a mistake.

When you see the facts, don’t be in denial. Listen. Observe changes (or non-changes). Don’t feign innocence. Be level headed. Everybody makes mistakes. You are not perfect.

Admit. Once you realize your mistake, take the blame. Take responsibility for your actions ((or inactions). In humility, say you goofed.

I faced the lady whom i have unintentionally inconvenienced and told her straight that it was my fault. I had no good reason.

Do not justify mistakes with reasons. It just diminishes your credibility but does little to make the situation better. No finger pointing. Do not make a second mistake of placing the blame on somebody else, the weather or the traffic. Do not lie and insist that you are not wrong.

Make amends. Do corrections when necessary or you are able to. Ask for forgiveness but do not overdo it. Listen to what they are saying and what they are not saying. Sometimes it’s better to leave them alone first and let them cool down. At times, that would be enough.

I asked for forgiveness and said I was very sorry. I took the cue that she didn’t want to hear anything else from me when she said “Can you move any faster?” She just wanted to get going. So move fast I did.

Many times, we can make amends after our misdeed immediately after. If you broke a vase, you can buy or pay for it. At other times, it is best to let go for the moment and make up for it later when.

Move on. When I came home, I was still playing the scene over and over that I was still shaking from embarrassment. “What If” was the mind game i played. But I’ve realized that it’s already in the past. I can’t change it. Even if I ran it over and over my head like a DVD movie, the deed has been done.

There is no use crying over spilled milk. Don’t wallow in pity, misery or fostering depression.

Sometimes we get so focused on a failure that we stay in a state of helplessness and shock. We feel guilty and unconsciously wallow in misery.

We must get up on our feet and begin anew. Let go of what was and look to the now and tomorrow.

Learn the Lesson. Guess who gives his key to the parking attendant even before it is asked? I’ve learned how to be more responsible after that embarrassing incident.

Focus on what can be done better. What could work? How could it have been prevented and how could it be

Do better next time. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. Perseverance is a good trait to have but if you insist on doing the same thing that made you fail, you might need to go to the shrink. Edison “failed” more than 1000 times so we can now enjoy the light bulb. But he tried several times using different combination of materials until he got it right.

In every setback, there is an equal or greater opportunity. Find that gem in every failure which will lead you to success.

Filed under Improve Your Self

• Comment

Turn off the TV.

Unplug those earphones.

Do the same with the radio, cellphone, computer and gaming gadgets.

Put those board games away, or those cards. Close that novel or book
(unless it’s the bible).

Unless you work for a critical utlity or your job absolutely requires
you to be connected, this week is the most opportuned time to set
aside the distractions of modern life and become one with Jesus to
commemorate His Passion, Death and Resurrection.

Choose an hour or two (or more) this Maundy Thursday or Good Friday to
spend quality time with the Lord.

Thank Him for His sacrifice and love.

Ask for God’s compassion and mercy.

Bask in His Spirit.

Quiet you heart and listen to His Voice.

Be present and feel His presence.

Filed under Bright Ideas, Improve Your Self

• 1 comment

This was writtend by my Friend GerbsDC way back 1993, a few months after he graduated. He hopes the would-be grads out there would get something from this essay.

BEYOND A COLLEGE DIPLOMA
By Germaine De Castro

For a typical college student, graduation is undoubtedly the most important event in his entire educational life. Well, we couldn’t discount the fact that there are other significant happenings during college life such as being included in the Dean’s List, winning contests, or just plainly receiving a sweet yes from a loved one. Graduation is the time where you are about to trek the halls of a large venue like the PICC together with your fellow schoolmates, walk up the platform upon announcement of your name, receive the diploma, and the traditional bow in front of thousands recognizing yourself as a college graduate. This is also the time for last hugs and kisses mainly because there would be a great possibility that you might not be seeing them for a long time. Some of them might be traveling abroad and permanently settle themselves there or the rapid mushrooming of different business establishments which will definitely lead to separations among peers due to competitions from other job applicants more qualified for a certain vacant job position. Painful as it is amidst the glamor of the event, we could only accept it as a reality and a clear indication that a “new” life is about to be embarked. New, in the sense that, post-graduation blues is a totally different chapter in our lives. This is the real thing and it’s time to prove yourself.

Most of us might have felt a “What now?” feeling after the hostilities had taken place. Inner questions like “Will I be putting up my own business or just start at the bottom as a mere employee?”, “What sort of industry would I be indulging in?”, “How long would it take for me to land a job?”, and “Are my college achievements good enough to put me at an advantage against my job competitors?” would definitely prop up in the minds of the graduates. Let’s not forget the famous “Will I be successful in my career?” statement. I’m sure all of us had thought of this.

Life after college is a totally different scenario. This is where the graduate would be gauged on how much skills were absorbed during his school days. Actually, the working environment is some sort of an extension of a person’s educational life. Learning is an endless process even after the grueling years of school life. This is the time where applications would be given more importance over theoreticals. Due to situational changes in our country and in the world as well, sticking by the book alone would give us a hard time confronting present working problems. What with the constant studies on Management Handling and the fast-paced updating of technology prevailing these days. An average student may turn out to be a more successful employee than an honor student when it comes to work performance. You would just be surprised that everything that you have learned in school are not enough to help propel you to great heights in your career. Those subjects are just your basic foundations to help you be competent in the “new world” you are about to enter into. A lot of new things to be learned are in store for the successful job applicant and it all would commence the moment that person would step on the well-mopped floors of that company reflecting deep inside, “This is it…wish me luck!”.

As you open the doors of your specific department, a warm welcome from your co-employees would be the opening greeting. Definitely, they would be asking themselves, “Will this newly-hired employee be able to contribute to the betterment of the company?”. That would really pose as a challenge for the neophyte and if it would definitely give him the jitters, that would be fine. At least that person is a normal human being and it happens to a horde of newcomers.

Moving a step further up the ladder of life leaving school days behind is a bold move in a person’s life. It would not be all regarding work after college life. Discovering more about life is essential for a person to grow into a more matured individual. He turns out more knowledgeable in tackling life’s obstacles forgetting the days of dependency during his early years. If he decides to live a married life, that would be another bold new step to even greater responsibilities. For the benefit of singles, it doesn’t follow that married individuals are more responsible than unmarried ones. Some couples just wouldn’t accept the responsibility tied to the sacrament of matrimony. Some of us sometimes get pressured in finding a partner in life and this would really cause problems due to lack of maturity. Relationships are not requirements but responsibilities. True love, stability, and a healthy spiritual life are major factors for a happy marriage.

Obtaining a college diploma means a whole lot more than just passing your course with flying colors and celebrating your heart out until the wee hours of the morning. It is your ticket to a whole new ride in your life. A ride full of learning more about the ups and downs of life… a ride full of challenges from God…a ride of everlasting education.

We are forever students in this world. Class dismissed.

Filed under Improve Your Self, General Interests, Inspirations, The Future

• Comment

The Santolan-EDSA intersection where I pass daily is a very busy intersection. While it is still bearable when we pass, there are times that it gets clogged because of passenger jeepneys (along Santolan) and buses (along EDSA) waiting, stalling, trying to get more passengers. The left turns from both sides of Santolan also take a significant amount of waiting time for vehicles just going straight. Add the impatient drivers going against the traffic flow in order to get ahead.

It is a given that traffic discipline and enforcement of rules are keys to better and faster travel. Also, good engineering and study of traffic flow can yield significant improvements in how fast cars can go.

Recently, the intersection has been re-designed to be a circular flow. The initial implementation was a disaster because everybody was surprised. The mindset that prevailed was, “I have to get ahead of the others.”
I made a detour to a farther route and said “Now I will have to travel farther. More gas, more time spent and adjustment of our comfort zone.”

The next day came as a surprise. I planned to avoid that point but noticed that traffic was flowing smoothly, faster than when the intersection was not a roundabout. So I made haste for my usual route and found myself not waiting for a green light. I didn’t even stop. I cut my travel time by a good ten minutes.

The problem now is when it is congested at peak hours.

I remembered an animation about vehicles giving some space in front of them so others can merge faster. I tried it and it worked! It significantly made us move faster and smoother. Images and more explanations can be found here.

A similar finding for airlines with the same concept was featured recently here.

“Have 10 passengers at a time board in alternating rows. He says it’s at least four times faster than what most airlines are doing because it lets everyone stow their luggage and take their seats without getting in one another’s way. People get seated sooner, which means planes take off sooner.”

I think taking turns works because:

Psychologically, everyone is moving, albeit a little slower. But compared to wanting for minutes at a time, your patience threshold can only hold so much. Not competing against the other driver gives you a better disposition and view.
It makes you much more considerate of others and in turn, you will all be given consideration. There is something about showing kindness and respect, the seeing it returned - the “pay it forward” concept - that makes anything more bearable.

The question is how do we imbibe this in the national psyche?
I can start with myself. You can do the same.

Other traffic thoughts.

Filed under Improve Your Self, General Interests, POSITIVE MINDSET, InForNation

• Comment

The Vision of MagandangBalita.com is to become a portal and repository of the good news and good things happened, are happening or will happen to Filipinos and the Philippines; a positive influence for us all. Can you help make this come true?